Open Prompt #3

2009

#1

I do not know how the AP graders, grade some of these! The handwriting is horrible. Good thing the opening paragraph really hooked me in. I thought we were supposed to put the author and work in the very first sentence, which this person did not due. Possibly that comes from a strong suggestion from Ms. Holmes. The first sentence of their second paragraph is not a statement he can argue, but instead just facts. They could use that fact as a supporting detail, but it should not come first in their paragraph.  At times it seems like the writer is just summarizing and not analyzing. Overall the language is sophisticated and I am quite impressed with the amount of detail included. I would give this writer an 8.

#2

Right from the start, the writer forgets to include a basic apostrophe for the author’s name. They make some mistakes, which is fine, but they need to put a straight line through their mess ups instead of scribbling it out. The second paragraph is great and is set up perfectly with the argumentative sentence first. In the third and fourth paragraphs, they again set it up nicely. One problem I see with this essay is that the language is not really advanced. I would give this writer a 7.

#3
This writer does not include the author’s name at all, which can be a major issue. They also should not use phrases such as “in my opinion” as it makes the arguments sound weak. I would also argue that the thesis does not answer the prompt. The supporting details are not clearly defined in the opening paragraph, and I believe that is something that is supposed to be done. The claims this writer makes are not strong enough to back up their thesis. I believe that this writer deserves a 4 for their efforts.